Friday, August 28, 2009

Stop this fuckery already or else fuck me gently with a chainsaw



Leave the fucking Heathers alone!!!
WAAAAAAAAH
What seems to be the problem you ask?
Well..
Two of the brightest crayons in the box have decided to make the 80s cult classic movie Heathers into a tv-show.

Not a sequel.

A tv-show.

What.The.Everloving.Fuck!


A fucking tv-show with some dimwit actors who don't probably even get why messing with that movie is like Blasphemy of the Jebus for the folks in churches.
Like the lovely Michael K wrote: "Variety brings us the bad news. They report that Mark Rizzo and Jenny Bicks (a writer from Sex and the City) are working together on this crap. They plan to update it and bring back all the characters from the movie. The casting alone is making me vommy. They are totally going to destroy us all by casting Ashley Jizzdale, Tater Head Willis, that Kristin Calamari chick from The Hills, the Miss Lolitas and one of the Jonas hos."

Wow, can you imagine the cheese factor IF one of those people Actually were in it?!
*smh*
Ugh.
Piss off.
And take your stinking paws off that project if you do not want the wrath of the fans on you..
Rant over.


Oh and here is why you cannot, I repeat CANNOT FUCK WITH THIS MOVIE: because there just ain't no other crazy Hot motherfucking creepo like JD (played by a young Ch. Slater).
Just N to the O.

LOLs



In April I wrote how I laughed my ass off because of an article I read concerning TWITTER.(10 Tweets my vagina would Twitter).It was seriously full of so much win.
So yeah, kinda hard to top?..NoPe..

I open Heartless Doll today and what do i see?
10 Tweets My Tits Would Twitter
I'll copy the intro here, because damn, it is funny.
"A few months ago, my vagina signed up for a Twitter account. Not too long afterward, my tits started moaning about it, asking, "Why does Vaj get to have all the fun?" I told my tits to calm down, assuring them that one Tweeting body part was more than enough for one lady, but they wouldn't hear of it. After all, who can really deny a boob--especially two?
And so, if my tits had a Twitter--a Titter, if you will--these are 10 things they might Tweet."

Some of the 10 Tweets (check all of them from the article):

9. Hey, Victoria. Here's a "secret." Shove this heinous underwire up your prissy little butthole.

6. Where the hell did that hair come from? TWEEZERS PLZ STAT.

5. @leftbreast I really think you're the biggest.

4. @rightbreast no way, YOU'RE biggest!

And of course, the best is the last

1. @boyfriendspenis you are so dramatic. always trying to come between us.

Numero uno had me laughing so hard..
Um,oops..I meant very much..
See, how the LOLs just keep on coming..
Hehee..right:)

H
A
H
A
F
U
C
K
I
N
G
H
A
!


(Why do I have a feeling that I'm probably the only one laughing at my own jokes?:)




I think the author has a few more body parts to 'discover'..

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Oh the hoooorrroooooor


What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?
The freakiest/most terrifying character in that movie?
For a long time for me, it was Halloween with the appropriate stalker music and Michael Myers.Also, A Nightmare On Elm Street with Freddie Krueger.Sweet everloving jebus, the dreams i had after wathing that..(though i was veryvery young when i saw them the first time, and you know what they say - first impressions and all that..)
But when i saw Nosferatu (1922) in one of my movie lectures...Oh holy fuck people!
Scared the shit out of me...And it is a silent movie!!Nothing beats this one..Dark&classic&stylish.

Count Orlok is so creepy, seriously like fucking-hell-chills-going-down-my-spine-plus-nigthmares-creeeepy..Ugh..C-c-check it out yourself..





Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Madonna


In about 3 hours or so, the concert should start.
Kinda excited, kinda not.
I just hope people won't be made of stone..
And damn, no cameras allowed.
I have my crappy phnoe camera, though it probably ain't effin useful at all.


Will come back later to edit this post after the concert:)

Doo-wap-doo-wap

Edit 1:
Holy Fucking Batman Awesomeness!

Ok, so the concert ended about an hour ago, aka 23.15ish, ich think.Oh man, my feet are killing me..

Impressions?!


The thing was very well organized, the actual concert part with the singing and dancing and performers etc.In other words, Madonna delivered one hell of a show that was planned to the last detail.

The whole other thing was blah.And by that i mean the F.B.I part. I don't really think its normal to wait in line for 1,5hours in order to get in.Ok yeah i get it, there were a lot of people.BUT most of them had tickets printed out at home.Not those stupid paper ones.Why am i talking about this?
Because the gates were separated by different types of tickets.Fuck, it was a mess.I felt sorry for the man, who kept talking into the microphone about how those who own paper tickets (which eventually turned into hard tickets..stressful job..does weird things to your brain) should go either through the VIP entrance or the two ones separated for paper ones.Those who own e-tickets had two entrances, which clearly was not enough.So the the paper ones were basically empty as the other were full.
Finally someone managed to get some stuff in order.Me and my sis got in about 20ish or so.

Fuckload of people were there.And i mean a fuckload of people.We bought ciders and just stood somewhere. I went and ran around on my own for a while.Which made me miss the beginning.I also got stuck in a bottleneck of people.It was awful, everyone was pushing, but shit - viinerit ikka kilesse tagasi ei lükka eks!
I tried to say that people should form two lines, but who the fuck listens to a midget?!
Assholes don't, thats who:)
So i just made a sharp left and basically started stepping over people who were sitting on the grass..Pff, you get in my way - then i sure as eff get in your way..(And nope, im not usually so mean IRL..only when im given a reason:)
But whatevs..
Oh,er..Stones were surrounding us, for sure..There deffo should have been a geriatric area as well..(Oh crap, scratch that previous statement - i am one mean bitch indeed:D)
Like seriously people?Really?REALLY?!
You come and you don't clap?You don't move?
What kind of a freakazoid took over your body during the concert?
Because heaven forbid if someone actually shows some emotion during it, right?


On with the good stuff..
The woman has some serious stamina to keep doing the same thing over and over, basically every night in different countries.Mad props and high fives to her!
I jumped,i danced, im pretty sure i sort of elbowed a person as well (not on purpose, of course)..I enjoyed myself.



Thank you so sososooooo much hunbun of a sister for the bday present!:)
I think Like A Prayer was my fav performance..Oh, Ray Of Light as well..
The whole stage and construction was huge, and thank jebus there were screens, otherwise it would have been quite shitty to get an overview of the things happening on stage.

I'll stop it here for now.Sleep on the whole thing.
Edit 2 will come tomorrow, or um, by today:)


Edit 2:
I slept on it.
And now i can say that its one more thing done and over with:)
Everyone's talking about the concert, naturally. I dunno, im kinda over it already.I just wanna see some normal pics of the whole event.But i'll probably put some crappy camera phone ones here.
It reminded me more of a club performance, with how her songs were all remixed together and it made the whole thing go by so quickly.
And yup, if there is a chance to go see an artist abroad - people just take it!
It will be better.Damn sure.
Dun-zoooo!

P.S! Oh, what i would do to see KOL live!!!
I will get there somehow..Oh yeah,I will..(that should become my mantra or sth)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Supersecretcodedmessageforthoseinonit

Minding my own business, tv blasting music in the background and all of a sudden this comes on...

Volume went up..up..and up because..
Thosepeoplewhoknowwhatimtalkingabout,doyouremember?
One of the many possible song choices..and it's a damn good song..
Oh, those were some effin awesome youtube archive searches for the word freak (well, i mean on my part, that word was predominant)...
And im still laughing my ass off...
WE NEED TO END THE SUMMER VACATION AND GET BACK TO BUSINESS!!!
Like, A.S.A.P!

Screw summer.
Gimme some droolin' over um, things and bitching/whining!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Rainrain..don't go away


So, i was walking to the park and when i got there, the floodgates up above opened.Hey, fine by me.I discovered that it is actually really cool to walk in the rain. Heavy rain.Downpour.Soaked from head to toe.Walking with two separate pools on my feet.Awesome:)

But..
My ipod kinda died on the way back..*hope it will wake up from the rain-induced coma soooon*
And then there was thunder..I love lightning and thunder!..lovelovelove it..
So the point of this short and nonsense/pointless post is - walk in the rain people!...there is this weird silence that comes with it..i mean there is the sound of rain, but besides that..silence.

Oh, as i write this, lightning strikes..
Fucking A!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Uh-oh

Well..looks like i am a really crappy blog updater..hah..no surprise there.
Anyways, tons of stuff has happened between may and july..
maybe i'll write them down here, or maybe i'll just leave them in my brain..we'll see.
For now, the past is haunting me..or am i haunting the past?!..erm, not sure anymore..
FFS!!Get out of my heaaaaaaaaad, motherfucker!

Thats all for today, children.
Next lesson coming soon:)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Er

I have my first exam next week..Phonology..ugh
Wanted to come here and whine a little bit, but after reading this, it would make me sound like a serious tool..

breast cancer
10-year old girl
WTF, those two things just do not go together..
My effin exams are nothing compared to what that girl must be going through..
I'll just..um..
Come back another day









I heart Heartless Doll for having both - the funnies and the serious stuff...
Holy Sweet Jebus Christ tap dancing on a cracker how one needs some funnies after reading that..

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I can't travel without an iPod full of music and a good book

an iPod full of music and a good book


Random bits & pieces


I was in Tallinn for a few days and the time flew by...Got there, did a couple of things and the next thing i know im up hella early, and trying to sleep on the bus..Which didn't really work..
______________________________________________________________________________
I actually understand what the old people were talking about when i was younger.."Time just goes by so fast, when you're older"..
pshh, "yeah right" was my answer to that..
And now..
Fuck, the prunes are right:)
My birthday is miles away, sort of, and im panicking already..
I think im gonna stay 22 for a while..:)It should be fun..imagine with me, if you will:
"Happy birthday!Wow, so 23 eh.."
Im 22
"Ee,yeah, well thats what i meant..you were 22 and now you're 23.."
Well, no..I decided that im gonna be 22 for about a decade or so
*blank face* "What the fuck for?"
Um, i dunno..im not good with numbers..my math skills are shit..?
_____________________________________________________________________________
So, what did i do@home?I'll try to remember..
Well, admired the new kitchen, fo shoo..
Figured out that there IS a difference when watching Halloween and A Nightmare On Elm Street at age 12 and then 10 years later..hah..Fell asleep before the second one ended..or maybe that was the alcohol..
Anyways..my lovely sister took me to the movies..some absurd comedy..with Rush music, cool..
Also, checked out the new digs of my crazy-cooler alter-ego..
And well, blablablaaa..
When i came back to Tartu, the sky was looking eerily rain-ready..so our picnic plan with the classic and nostalgic birthday food kartulisalat+viiner was down the drain, instead we replaced it with the equally classic crazy-kitchen-table-talk..And crazy it was..
Remember people:
Sleep is important!

And now I actually remember what I wanted to write in this post..about random things..After the kitchen stuffing, i dragged myself to school..And while waiting for the lecture to begin, this random old man walks in, looks around, walks towards the window and back..Then sees the piano and starts playing it!(and i have no frickin' idea why there is a piano in the room in the first place, tbh) And he wasn't bad..After a minute or so, he gets up, we clapped and he left..Like I said, random:)A very cool random thing..

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Muthaflippin'

While skimming the world wide web, I came across this top 10 list and the thing is soo full of awesome! It listed the best songs from Flight of the Conchords..and I agree with the songs chosen for 1&2..but the other ones..no Sugarlumps?!
I mean, there are so many other good ones, that i couldn't list them all..and let alone only 10 songs..But still, the ones that were put there, are funny as shit!:)Thank sweetmarymotheerofjeebus for the show..



And this is just somethin' else;)

Oh, and Marit..if this doesn't make you wanna check out the original, then i don't know what will..should i bring the dvd with me?!:D..you know, where to answer



www.toplessrobot.com is FTW

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Moving Picture

May is a good month..
A movie month..

Which reminds me that i saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine on the 1st of May..The good things about the movie were Hugh Jackman, Gambit, naked Hugh Jackman and Deadpool..And guess what - the latter character will get its own spinoff X-Men movie..surprise surprise, right..
http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/wolverine-easter-egg-hatches-spinoff/
And considering that the movie was leaked, it still had quite the box-office..$87Million on opening weekend.


Anywhoo..I wonder how Angels&Demons turned out with Ewan McGregor playing a priest (not a bad thing,btw;) and whatnot else..

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The drug takers and the law breakers and the bottom bashing fornicators

Fuck
fuuuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuckery
fuck
fuuuuuuuuuck

Let me repeat

FUCK
FUUUUUCK
FUCK
FUCKERY
FUCK
FUUUUUUUUUUCK


Went to see The Boat That Rocked yesterday..I've been waiting for it to hit cinemas for quite a while now, and oh boy, i was not disappointed.Not.At.All!


Don't really remember the last time i laughed so much in the cinema..Very enjoyable and awesome..And the music..The music was sooooooooooooo bloody good&fit the movie perfectly(hence the fuck-beginning)..
So here are just some of the musical pearls:





I wanna see it again..and again..
For the actors, come on..Hoffman, Ifans, Nighy, Frost, Branagh..and the young one, who played Carl..or the ones who played Simple Simon or Thick Kevin..yeah..or the mystery silent dude...or the bearded fellow..They all did a fucking good job:D
Like i said: A.Fucking.Good.Movie!!!!
THE feel-good movie of the year..You will leave with a grin on your face..otherwise..you're just..odd :)

Oh man, i wish i could've been there in the 60s, so much shit went down then..But until they invent a time machine, i will count on music,books and films..Which reminds me - there will be another 60s movie hitting the cinemas soon:D
Its about Woodstock!!woooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo
A man working at his parents' motel in the Catskills inadvertently sets in motion the generation-defining concert in the summer of 1969.

And can i just say one thing..It's unbelievable how similar the curly haired dude is to the..um, original curly haired dude:D

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Funnies 2

Okey, so after the laughter-slash-deathscare yesterday, i did some digging in my computer files and discovered some lol'worthy failblog things..








This bus-stop is located near the Pirita river, just a little before you can turn left and head towards the cemetary/Muuga..:D






Oh, and this is just something else...
There is this whole thing about Twitter, somebody tweeted this and that, and blablablaaa..i mean, i don't use it myself (don't have an account), but i look up 2musicians from time to time, and thats it..Now, apparently there is a certain number of characters for the message (if i understand correctly) and some people just don't know spelling..And the lovely woman, who wrote the post below makes a point about the Twitter thing by..well, Tweeting of course:D...(or um, is it twittering?!oh who gives a fuck anyway)

http://www.heartlessdoll.com/2009/04/10_tweets_my_vagina_would_twitter.php

http://twitter.com/hdvagina

*wipes away tears of laughter*

And be sure to check this out as well:)


everything is:
failblog.org
heartlessdoll.com

Monday, April 27, 2009

Funnies


I can't breathe..im laughing my ass off watching these heinous pictures of really really bad costumes..
laughing+coughing=not enough oxygen in my lungs...
oh dear god, must take deep breaths..uuuh
But those pictures are really..i mean..you just gotta look yourself:
best ones start from page 2

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/random_fug/index.html

mirror mirror on the wall who has the fugliest? piece of clothing from them all...